Rhetorical Questions
When does one know it's time to leave a place of employment they truly enjoy working for?
What does a person do about a boss who continually lies about things big and small?
How do you know when it's time to leave? And, what if you don't want to, but know it's probably the best thing for you?
All these things have been on my mind lately. You see, I work for a person who is a compulsive liar. I've known this person is a compulsive liar for a long time now, but have been trying to give this person the benefit of the doubt. You see, lying is this person's addiction. I've taken the precautionary steps to protect myself and my best interests (documenting emails, conversations, voicemails, etc.) but it has gotten to the point where I can no longer trust Boss to do the right thing. I can no longer trust that Boss will do what she is supposed to do. Boss lies about things little and big. I have a 16 page document full of instances in the past year where Boss has said one thing (to the Head Honcho) and done another. You see the problem is this...when Boss tells a lie, I know it is not the truth. Boss and I work very closely together on many projects and I know the real truth contrary to what Boss tells everyone else. The biggest problem I have with all of this is morally I know what Boss does is wrong. I cannot trust Boss to do even the simplest things because Boss has betrayed me THAT much over the year(s). Boss means well, but her methods are very suspect. My question is this: How can people go though life like this? Don't they have even one ounce of regret, remorse, bad feelings? I have a strong belief that what goes around eventually comes around, but I fear that there is no hope for Boss.
But how do I deal with someone like this? I can't call Boss out because Boss and Head Honcho are tight and Boss has played her cards just so...that Boss cannot 'look bad' in any light. Plus, I'm Boss's subordinate...but that doesn't mean I haven't documented instances where Boss has lied, to my face, about things big and small.
One of the "big things" Boss did this week: tell me Boss was putting in a two weeks notice. Boss told me this last night as we were dining together before a shin-dig we were to do at an area park. Boss apparently was to take a job in the building three floors below us at a company–much like ours–but in order to do that the Head Honcho on that floor had to fire the person in the position my Boss was to take. My Boss gets a phone call during our dinner from Head Honcho from the company three floors below us and this Head Honcho ends the conversation by saying "it's done. the job is yours." My Boss says "OK, I'll talk to you tomorrow." And proceeds to "toast" to "new beginnings" and all this bull shit about how she needs to leave the company because she cannot go on working for Our Company. Blah blah blah...
So then I get in the office this morning and Boss has a meeting with Subordinates saying how Boss is leaving and putting in a two week's notice, blah blah blah. Well, not more than 15 minutes after that, Boss has a "meeting" with Our Head Honcho and he must have convinced her to stay, so Subordinates meet again with Boss and Boss tells us all this. WHAT?!?! I feel like I'm in a soap opera. Honestly, the drama, the bull shit, the lies, etc., it's not at all what I pictured a workplace to be. So then of course, after this little Attention Seeking Episode, Boss is fine...chipper, calm, cool, collected and acting like nothing happened. Boss goes about the rest of her morning...
So around noon I went out to lunch with a friend and when I walked back into the building I saw this person from the company three floors below us–the company My Boss told me last night she was going to go work for–walk out of the building. (but in order for My Boss to work there this certain person needed to get fired so My Boss could take over that post) She was quickly walking out of the building, teary-eyed and carrying an open box full of what looked like personal desk belongings. WHAT?!?!
I don't know the whole story, but what I speculate is this: Last night My Boss tells the company three floors below us that she's going to take the job they've offered. So, the company three floors below us fires the current employee so My Boss can have that job. Meanwhile, My Boss tells us she's putting in her two week's notice. When our Head Honcho tries to talk My Boss out of it she agrees...not knowing the company three floors below has just fired their employee in order to get My Bossin that job. Again, WHAT!?!? How is this fair at all?! My Boss ends up keeping her current post and can just say no to the job offer from last night but this poor other person has been fired?! It doesn't make sense to me. Plus, this whole situation is a whole lot more complicated than all of this hodge podge I've written here tonight, but I don't have time to explain now.
This whole situation makes me sick. Just utterly sick. How can a boss get away with this? Especially since this person is SO much older than me! What about morals? What about the truth? And, what the hell is the truth in all of this shit? And why do feel like I'm involved in some level? I didn't ask for this! All I ask for every 15 days is a F*ing paycheck. Not all this sorority girly bullshit. I understand each organization has their own fair share of company problems...but a compulsive liar for a boss? I never asked for this. I never asked to be put in this situation and it makes me sick to think that I have no power, no authority to do anything about it because no one would listen anyway. I'm tired of it. Sick and tired of it. I know now that it must be time to leave. It has to be... how can it get much worse than this.
~Sick and disgusted...
What does a person do about a boss who continually lies about things big and small?
How do you know when it's time to leave? And, what if you don't want to, but know it's probably the best thing for you?
All these things have been on my mind lately. You see, I work for a person who is a compulsive liar. I've known this person is a compulsive liar for a long time now, but have been trying to give this person the benefit of the doubt. You see, lying is this person's addiction. I've taken the precautionary steps to protect myself and my best interests (documenting emails, conversations, voicemails, etc.) but it has gotten to the point where I can no longer trust Boss to do the right thing. I can no longer trust that Boss will do what she is supposed to do. Boss lies about things little and big. I have a 16 page document full of instances in the past year where Boss has said one thing (to the Head Honcho) and done another. You see the problem is this...when Boss tells a lie, I know it is not the truth. Boss and I work very closely together on many projects and I know the real truth contrary to what Boss tells everyone else. The biggest problem I have with all of this is morally I know what Boss does is wrong. I cannot trust Boss to do even the simplest things because Boss has betrayed me THAT much over the year(s). Boss means well, but her methods are very suspect. My question is this: How can people go though life like this? Don't they have even one ounce of regret, remorse, bad feelings? I have a strong belief that what goes around eventually comes around, but I fear that there is no hope for Boss.
But how do I deal with someone like this? I can't call Boss out because Boss and Head Honcho are tight and Boss has played her cards just so...that Boss cannot 'look bad' in any light. Plus, I'm Boss's subordinate...but that doesn't mean I haven't documented instances where Boss has lied, to my face, about things big and small.
One of the "big things" Boss did this week: tell me Boss was putting in a two weeks notice. Boss told me this last night as we were dining together before a shin-dig we were to do at an area park. Boss apparently was to take a job in the building three floors below us at a company–much like ours–but in order to do that the Head Honcho on that floor had to fire the person in the position my Boss was to take. My Boss gets a phone call during our dinner from Head Honcho from the company three floors below us and this Head Honcho ends the conversation by saying "it's done. the job is yours." My Boss says "OK, I'll talk to you tomorrow." And proceeds to "toast" to "new beginnings" and all this bull shit about how she needs to leave the company because she cannot go on working for Our Company. Blah blah blah...
So then I get in the office this morning and Boss has a meeting with Subordinates saying how Boss is leaving and putting in a two week's notice, blah blah blah. Well, not more than 15 minutes after that, Boss has a "meeting" with Our Head Honcho and he must have convinced her to stay, so Subordinates meet again with Boss and Boss tells us all this. WHAT?!?! I feel like I'm in a soap opera. Honestly, the drama, the bull shit, the lies, etc., it's not at all what I pictured a workplace to be. So then of course, after this little Attention Seeking Episode, Boss is fine...chipper, calm, cool, collected and acting like nothing happened. Boss goes about the rest of her morning...
So around noon I went out to lunch with a friend and when I walked back into the building I saw this person from the company three floors below us–the company My Boss told me last night she was going to go work for–walk out of the building. (but in order for My Boss to work there this certain person needed to get fired so My Boss could take over that post) She was quickly walking out of the building, teary-eyed and carrying an open box full of what looked like personal desk belongings. WHAT?!?!
I don't know the whole story, but what I speculate is this: Last night My Boss tells the company three floors below us that she's going to take the job they've offered. So, the company three floors below us fires the current employee so My Boss can have that job. Meanwhile, My Boss tells us she's putting in her two week's notice. When our Head Honcho tries to talk My Boss out of it she agrees...not knowing the company three floors below has just fired their employee in order to get My Bossin that job. Again, WHAT!?!? How is this fair at all?! My Boss ends up keeping her current post and can just say no to the job offer from last night but this poor other person has been fired?! It doesn't make sense to me. Plus, this whole situation is a whole lot more complicated than all of this hodge podge I've written here tonight, but I don't have time to explain now.
This whole situation makes me sick. Just utterly sick. How can a boss get away with this? Especially since this person is SO much older than me! What about morals? What about the truth? And, what the hell is the truth in all of this shit? And why do feel like I'm involved in some level? I didn't ask for this! All I ask for every 15 days is a F*ing paycheck. Not all this sorority girly bullshit. I understand each organization has their own fair share of company problems...but a compulsive liar for a boss? I never asked for this. I never asked to be put in this situation and it makes me sick to think that I have no power, no authority to do anything about it because no one would listen anyway. I'm tired of it. Sick and tired of it. I know now that it must be time to leave. It has to be... how can it get much worse than this.
~Sick and disgusted...
posted by exswimchick at
6:45 PM
1 Comments:
Let's look at a couple of facts:
• You like your job.
• You don't like your boss's methods.
Now let's look at some questions:
• Does your boss like you?
• Has she ever f**ked-over you? (Made you look bad with her lies?)
• Do you like her as a person?
• Could you speak frankly to her about her methods?
What I'm getting at here:
• If she likes you and has not screwed-you-over - you may be annoyed at her lying - but it has not compromised your job or your integrity. Keep on saving the evidence and until it affects you directly - who cares? Let her dig her own grave.
• Do you want to talk to her (maybe at lunch) and explain your concerns - framed in the light of what you feel is best for her (as a friend)? Especially since she must be unhappy in her job - possibly because she already gotten in hot water with her boss for lying about some thing(s). So she thinks that getting out is her only alternative. You may be able to get her to see that you are on her side.
• Of course, this is all moot if she and her boss have kissed-and-made-up (maybe she even got a raise)! Then he's the one without a clue.
• I hate to say it - but women in charge of women is often a "soap opera". Small things become magnified and workers are played against each other. If a man boss lies about something - the other guys just tell him he is "full of sh*t" - and they all get over it as long as the work gets done on time.
• BTW - You can't blame your boss for that other lady losing her job. Firing someone before all the "i's" are dotted and "t's" are crossed was just bad management by that company's boss.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home